Article

Malay etiquette

From Munshipedia, the MBRAS digital historical encyclopedia

Malay etiquette

Malay etiquette, or adab (propriety), constitutes an unwritten but rigidly enforced code of conduct governing social interaction across the Malay Peninsula, from the courts of Kelantan and Perak to the kampong (village) level. The system functions as a mechanism of social stratification preserved, in the words of one senior courtier, “from time immemorial,” and is valued even above formal education by illiterate Malays alike [1, p. 273]. Its architecture extends from the precise linguistic registers used in addressing royalty to the physical choreography of a royal feast, from the colours assigned to state offices to the gestures of greeting and farewell. Two major scholarly treatments—one an insider’s manual compiled by a Kelantan courtier for a European readership in 1933, the other a systematic ethnographic survey by a Malay scholar in 1950—provide the principal documentary record of this tradition as it stood in the mid-twentieth century [1], [2].

Scope and Historical Definition

The foundational principle of Malay etiquette is that the body itself is a text encoding relationships of respect, deference, or equality. Zainal Abidin bin Ahmad, writing in 1950, argued that these conventions—rooted in Islamic precepts, animistic survivals, and hierarchical social structure—had never been properly documented in either English or Malay, and he set out to fill that gap with a comprehensive catalogue of norms covering everything from head coverings to sexual segregation [2]. The head is regarded as the noblest part of the body and must be covered; the feet are the lowest; the right hand is clean and the left unclean [2]. Each physical gesture—the bersila (legs folded and crossed in front) squat for men, the bertimpoh (legs folded backwards, inclined to the right) for women, the joining of palms before the face—encodes a specific social relationship [2, p. 52].

Dato’ Muhammad Ghazali, a senior courtier of Kelantan with thirty years of service to the royal family, framed the system in 1933 as a sine qua non of Malay social life, noting that in times past when the kris (a wavy-bladed dagger) was freely used, woe befell any man, whether commoner or noble, who misbehaved in the presence of a Raja (prince or ruler) [1, p. 273]. The Malay proverb “Biar mati anak; Jangan mati adat” (Let the child die; let not the custom die) encapsulates the supreme weight accorded to these conventions [1, p. 273].

Ahmad’s 1950 survey introduced a crucial historiographical dimension by distinguishing between genuinely Malay practices and those borrowed from external sources. He noted that the selamat-form greetings (Selamat Pagi, Selamat Datang, etc.) were recent coinings of less than twenty to thirty years’ standing, borrowed from colloquial Indonesian Malay which itself imitated European and Egyptian-Arabic models, with Selamat Hari Raya identified as the oldest and the model for the rest [2, p. 46]. Greeting cards and invitation cards were identified as products of Western influence within the preceding fifty years, still unknown to uneducated kampong Malays who preferred personal verbal communication [2, pp. 52–53]. The author was equally careful to note regional variation: Johore’s abolition of the court obeisance, the Minangkabau-influenced greater freedom between the sexes in Malacca and Negri Sembilan, and the Kelantanese use of hamba (servant) in place of saya (I) [2, pp. 54].

Linguistic Registers and the Pronoun System

The linguistic dimension of Malay etiquette is as elaborate as its physical choreography. Ahmad devoted an entire section to the pronoun system (saya, aku, hamba, patek, beta), showing how the choice of first- and second-person terms precisely calibrates the social distance between speaker and addressee, from the patek used before a Sultan down to the aku-engkau reserved for intimate childhood friends or family seniors addressing juniors [2]. Ghazali’s 1933 manual provides the detailed court register: the third-person pronoun dia is never applied to royalty, being replaced by the suffix -nya; a commoner addressing a ruling prince calls himself patek; the word tidak tahu (“I do not know”) is never used before royalty, the correct formulations being kurang preksa (polite) or kurang cherap (reserved for conversation with royalty only) [1, pp. 273–276].

The formal modes of address are strictly tiered. The ruler is addressed Duli Yang Maha Mulia Sultan; the Crown Prince, Yang Teramat Mulia Raja Muda; the Chief Minister (if non-royal), Yang Teramat Hormat Dato’ Mentri [1, p. 273]. Deceased royalty is called al-Marhum [1, p. 274]. Among commoners, a mother or father is often addressed by the name of the firstborn child: Mak Awang, mother of Awang, and Pak Awang, father of Awang [1, p. 278]. It is not polite to address an elder by name, either formally or colloquially [1, p. 278].

The Sejarah Melayu (Malay Annals) records an incident in 1509 in which the captain of the first Portuguese flotilla to Malacca attempted to place a gold neck chain over the head of the Bendahara (Chief Minister), an act of gross disrespect that enraged the Minister’s attendants until the Bendahara himself intervened with the words “Never mind! He knows not our manners” (Biarkan; dia ta’ tahu bahasa) [2, pp. 72–73]. This early encounter illustrates how the etiquette system functioned as a boundary marker between civilised and uncivilised conduct, a function Ahmad explicitly drew upon in presenting Malay adab as a civilised and sophisticated system comparable to European codes of conduct [2].

Material Culture: State Colours, Palace Architecture, and the Royal Feast

The material dimensions of Malay etiquette are codified with the same precision as the linguistic. State colours are strictly assigned: white for the royal standard, yellow for royalty, green for the Bendahara, black for the Temenggong (Keeper of the Peace), and red for the Laksamana (military commander); if any of these officers is a royal personage, his flag is bordered with yellow [1, p. 278]. The umbrella is a token of prestige: a big white umbrella borne by a Jurupayong (umbrella-bearer) selected from the gentry is used on state occasions by the Sovereign, while the Crown Prince walks under a yellow umbrella of similar size [1, p. 278].

The palace audience hall (balai) is divided into four tiers that physically manifest the social hierarchy: a dais of approximately fifteen by forty feet for royalty, a first tapakan (platform) for Ministers of State and Dato’s, a second for gentry, and the ground floor for the peasantry [1, p. 279]. The balai has only three walls; its front is open, and any person is allowed to come in and squat on the ground floor without being challenged [1, p. 279].

The royal feast (jamuan raja) is perhaps the most elaborate single expression of the etiquette system. Malays dine seated on the floor, cross-legged, round a brass tray (pahar) about twenty inches in diameter and ten inches high on a pedestal; for royalty the pahar is made of gold or silver [1, p. 279]. The service is choreographed in strict sequence: first spittoons, then trays holding decanters and glasses, then the big pahar, then the anak gangsa (smaller rice tray), and lastly trays of teacups and teapots [1, p. 280]. Palace attendants carry each tray with both hands above the right shoulder, appearing in Indian file from inside the palace, moving gently and slowly [1, p. 280]. Honorary waiters, usually young men of the nobility, are appointed to help the guests; paid servants are regarded as vulgar [1, p. 280].

The rules of conduct at the table are exacting. It is vulgar to dip one’s fingers into a bowl to take a piece of meat; dry dishes may be taken with the fingers, but only one piece at a time. A big piece of meat should not be taken up whole; a bit should be broken off by the fingers and carried to the mouth. No sucking of bones is permitted. While food is still in the mouth, one is expected not to talk or answer questions. The guest should not commence his meal from the centre of the rice plate but from the edge near him, gradually advancing until satisfied, so that the rice remaining is still untouched and clean [1, p. 282]. The younger and inferior in rank must not stop and wash their hands until the eldest or superior has finished [1, p. 282].

At a royal marriage, the Ikat Tangan (hand-binding) contribution is fixed by rank: the Crown Prince pays $100, the Chief Minister $70, other chiefs $50, and a rich merchant approximately $25. The money is collected on the night of the Bersanding (sitting-together) ceremony, each contributor being called by name in order of rank, the silver dollars counted aloud and thrown one by one into a gold or silver tray, making the hall echo with their ringing [1, p. 284].

Religious and Festive Contexts

The etiquette system is suspended, or rather transformed, in specific religious and festive contexts. In the mosque, a Malay Sultan or Raja regards himself as an ordinary man; anyone of his subjects, high or low, may stand beside him while worshipping [1, p. 282]. On the two Hari Raya (festival) days, the Khatib (sermon-giver) is the first person privileged to advance close to his Sovereign and salute him by a Jabat Salam (handshake), a salutation called Mengunchup or Mengunjong [1, p. 283]. Only on these two occasions can anyone in the mosque, whatever his status, have the right of demanding to touch his lord’s hand [1, p. 283].

During Hari Raya, the palace is open to the public and the Sovereign is compelled by custom to give audience even to the humblest of his subjects [1, p. 283]. The festival lasts three days, during which the younger calls on the older and the inferior on the superior. All are bound to salam (greet) each other, and even in public thoroughfares acquaintances stop and hold each other’s hands. The greeting is not selamat hari raya but simply minta ma’af (seeking forgiveness), reciprocated with sama-sama (likewise) [1, p. 283]. Callers are all treated alike; one’s own servants are received in the drawing room and served with food and drinks as guests of equality. No angry words or quarrels are allowed, and whoever infringes this rule is looked upon as a savage or an outcaste [1, p. 283].

The mourning custom for a Sultan’s death required the head to be left uncovered for forty days, a practice that by 1950 had been replaced by tying a white ribbon around the cap [2, p. 44]. The ritual washing sertu, required after contact with the wet touch of a dog or pig, consists of six washings with water kneaded with clean earth followed by a seventh with plain pure water [2, p. 68].

Research and Documentation

The scholarly record of Malay etiquette in the Society’s literature is defined by two landmark contributions separated by seventeen years, each reflecting the changing intellectual and political context of its moment. Ghazali’s 1933 article was an insider’s manual written for a predominantly European colonial readership, drawing exclusively on his direct observation of Kelantan court practice with occasional references to Trengganu variants [1]. Its method was practical and prescriptive: it provided the precise words, gestures, and sequences a European official or visitor would need to avoid the social catastrophe of a breach of protocol. No prior scholarly literature was cited; the authority of the text rested entirely on the author’s thirty years of court service [1].

Ahmad’s 1950 survey, by contrast, was a systematic ethnographic codification written by a Malay scholar for a mixed colonial and indigenous readership in the immediate post-war period, during the early phase of the Malayan Emergency [2]. Its historiographical contribution lies in being the first systematic English-language treatment of Malay social etiquette as a whole, predating later academic analyses of Malay adab and providing a baseline against which subsequent scholars have measured the erosion or transformation of these norms under modernisation [2]. Ahmad’s method was simultaneously descriptive and prescriptive, often collapsing the distinction between what is done and what ought to be done, which gives the text the character of a normative code as much as an ethnographic report [2]. His position as an insider documenting his own culture for an external audience gave the work both ethnographic authority and a subtle apologetic function, presenting Malay adab as a civilised and sophisticated system comparable to European codes of conduct [2].

The two texts are complementary rather than contradictory: Ghazali provides the granular detail of court practice in a single state (Kelantan), while Ahmad offers a broader comparative survey encompassing regional variation, the influence of Islam, and the impact of Western contact. Together they constitute the principal documentary record of Malay etiquette as it stood in the mid-twentieth century, before the accelerating modernisation of the post-independence period began to transform many of the conventions they describe.

MBRAS Sources

References

  1. Muhammad Ghazali (1933). Court language and etiquette of the Malays JMBRAS 11(2): 273–287. Read on JSTOR
  2. Zainal Abidin bin Ahmad (1950). Malay manners and etiquette JMBRAS 23(3): 43–74.